I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I currently don't understand fingers.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize