her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
