so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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