ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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