This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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