I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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