I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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