WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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