question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
