You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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