There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
