yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize