he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
