i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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