if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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