ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize