Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
