Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
