no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
