someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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