Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
