You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
