its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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