What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
He had one of those small greek statue penises
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
