I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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