Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
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