Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
