i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
