Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
