it's like iHOP with fire
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
