Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
