Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
