no, he came in my armpit
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
There r osticjed everywhere
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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