So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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