I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
