oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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