Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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