I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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