What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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