I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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