pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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