Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
