I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
