the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
