What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
i now understand why vodka
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
