If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
