Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
