Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Randomize
