My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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