I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
