Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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