haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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