just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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