She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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